I don’t miss anything.

Longing for home, wait for holidays, happiness of being home; I’ve rarely felt any of these in twenty years of my life!

I remember the day and that moment when my parents were going back after leaving me in the hostel when I started my college life.
They were in half-cry mode.
I was feeling blank.
Deep down I felt a little sad; only for that moment; the separating one but after they left, I was okay. I turned back and started walking to my room. Meanwhile I felt like crying because I knew I would be going to miss ’em, miss my home, miss my old life and these nostalgic feelings got out of control when I opened the door’s lock of my room and sat quiet for like hours, watching the railway track, trees and the vast empty area in the view; buildings kilometers away and no person.
Such an empty view!
I was really feeling hollow and then the rain added up more to the sadness and the missing moments.
I cried, like a little and called my parents. “Take me home, mom, this place is scary, empty and what not.” They handled me, as always. I cut the call and the sadness got a lil’ aside as I met other girls in my hostel.
I seriously don’t remember any other day before and after this one that I missed my home or felt longing for it.
I adjusted easily. I was the happiest there. There were my friends who would cry missing their home and many were suffering from homesickness but I never felt the longing or even a lil’ ‘missing home’ feeling.
I’ve been like this since then.
Like I don’t feel like going home even at the festivals ! This is absurd, my friends say. I don’t agree with ’em much.

I might sound like I hate my home or parents but it’s really not like that.
I talk to ’em , I share things with ’em and they are the world’s most understanding parents.
Believe me, they are. I respect ’em a lot. They never force me for anything and not even expect much. They believe me. They know or can say they have this trust on me that I’ll never let ’em down and I won’t; for this reason that I respect ’em a lil’ more than I love ’em.
But I don’t miss my home. No, it isn’t like I don’t miss only my home; I don’t miss anything that’s gone. Okay, I admit, I don’t miss anything.
I be like over satisfied and happy with the present. I love every moment of life and I guess while loving every moment of life I don’t get time to miss anything. I know this was a weird reason but I didn’t get any better.
Sometimes I show on social networking sites by posting stuff like I wanna go home and bla bla but the reality is that I DO NOT FEEL LIKE.
I feel longing for nothing. Its not only the home.

Have been writing on it because holidays are coming and I’m not going home. My parents know! They have been insisting much for few days but I have no answer!


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